Friday, January 9, 2009

Hillbilly overalls...and other stuff

Brand new edition of..."You know you're a redneck when......

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is a vice on the work bench.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back. (gross!!!)

Gotta love those rednecks! OK, so who is guilty out there??? Life is short; make fun of it!

And speaking of fun, the palm trees are SUPPOSED to be delivered today...stay tuned for proof...wait a minute...that involves WORK, not FUN. But........we are packing. Tomorrow we head to the Port of Miami to board the Carnival Valor, heading to the Eastern Caribbean. We have never been on this particular ship before, but Miss Bee sez this one is her fave. I can't wait to find out why. We are meeting Sherman and Pat, along with about 40 couples from a Good Sam camping club. Think we'll have fun? You bet!!! I have set up blogs for each day with at least one picture (almost impossible to upload pics while onboard), and I'll fill in more text as we go along. Come join us for a fun week!


Nanette said...

Have a great cruise!! Enjoy, I'll be reading. BTW I have a can of Raid on the table for the mosquitos but I can blame it on my location right?? LOL

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

oboy the valor! it is my fav because of the decor. i love the inlaid marble flags in the floors and tables, the ww2 tile pictures in the lido restaurant and lots more! you'll see!

smiles, bee

WillThink4Wine said...

Have a blast! I can't wait to go on another cruise... til then I cruise vicariously with you and Bee!

Anonymous said...

Hank needs some of those! LOL!

Joy said...

Somehow I thought that might end up on your blog! Have a wonderful time on the cruise, that's one I'd like to do someday. I'm gearing up to go cruising in February - yay! Hugs...