Thursday, May 27, 2010

Thursday funnies, a bit of wit, a bit of wisdom...

Some of these are so funny and so true!

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an A-hole from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

31. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Be kinder than necessary: Everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.


Joy said...

Love these! And I can identify with many of them. Laughed at the one about the grocery bags...yes, I do that!

"Lois Grebowski" said...

I sooooooo identify with #30!

Have a great weekend!

ivana said...

Cara Sandy...
Why Friday? Have I to read tomorrow???

I find very funny...specially the translation!

I'll read once more!!!!
The last thought is very deep and true!!!
Big hugs!!!

Sandy B said...

Oops, today is Thursday, Miss Ivana! I fixed that...can you tell today has had MANY distractions???

I'll bet the translations from English to Italian is even funnier than the original stuff! You are sooo smart...

Sandee said...

I love 26 and I've seen it happen more than once. Bwahahahahaha. A fabulous list indeed. Thanks for the laughs.

Have a terrific day. Big hugs. :)

Barb said...

Oh, I HATE #2. I really, really do. But I suck it up. Gotta nip that I told ya so stuff right in the bud.

And I SO know how to fold a fitted sheet! I feel empowered now! bwahahahaha! Especially since I, too, know how to get out of my neighborhood!

You could have made 31 posts out of these. The discussions that would come out of each would be hysterical! And unfortunately, a little too enlightening!

Big hugs xo